38 yer olds are good kisserssss
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize