He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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