so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
