First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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