It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
