he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
It's not a walk of shame if you run
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
