I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize