At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
