I'm drive I can fine osifer
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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