I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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