The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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