if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize