So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
