i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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