Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
