That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Four minutes until I can fart!
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
