Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
