peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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