hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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