My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
