therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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