ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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