i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize