shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
