dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
