You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Did I show you my penis last night?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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