So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize