i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
