I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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