You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize