so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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