Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
