Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
