I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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