just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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