At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
