ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
