How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
