Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
