YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
