Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
