dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
