oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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