Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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