just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
