R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize