We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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