I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
