Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
