WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I cut my penus on the lid.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
