Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
