We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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