Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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