First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
