I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
