marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
