Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
