So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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