I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
