I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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