Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
home. puking in laundry basket.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
