Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
