did you get engaged???
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
