I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize