Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
