hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
