what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
