I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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