i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
There are leaves in my underwear?
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