The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
