I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
