I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He better not be in your backpack
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Two words: blizzard sex
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
