If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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