Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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